A little while ago I was reading another blog that really inspired me- check it out here: http://afifthseason.blogspot.com/2008/09/caitlins-gifts.html . January seems to be coming so quickly and I can't believe that nine months have passed already though I know my grief is not so raw and I can feel healing taking place. Today for example started out a disaster- we woke up an hour late and when we got to the store found the roof is leaking. A few months ago I would have broken down and had panic attacks but today I felt like I took it in stride. We've called the landlord and dried what needed to be dried (thank goodness not much was damaged besides the ceiling though) and now there's nothing more for us to do for the moment. Later we found out that someone's washer & dryer got delivered & was hooked up incorrectly so we're just glad it was relatively clean water. I'm not happy that we keep having one crisis after another because Levi's death should have been more than enough to deal with for one year but I'm proud of the way I've handled the last couple of things and managed things while Tommy's recovered. I don't know if I mentioned it in a previous blog but it's been good for our marriage for me to see a small glimpse of what Tommy had to do when he returned to work and I was still out recovering from the c-section & just not ready to return to the world again. (it's worked the other way too- he's gotten a small glimpse into the physical pain I was in & why I still wasn't up to some tasks so soon after the surgery- though he recognizes that mine was still a more invasive surgery and also more intense because of the grief).
Anyway- I've gotten way off topic. I've been trying to put together a pregnancy/infant loss kit to be given out at the local hospital. They did give us a lock of hair, a birth certificate with Levi's prints and a picture of him but I want to do more for women going through this. One of the big things I want to include is a imprint kit for the nurses to take an impression of the hand or foot because that's something that you can't go back & do later. You can always get a book, bear, picture frame, etc but some things you only have limited chances on. I want to include those other things too but depending on funds they aren't my top priorities. One other thing I want to include is a bracelet- I got one for myself and I really like it- it's just a Brighton charm bracelet & I've got a few charms for Levi but as a donation we'd only give the bracelet with a pink, blue or yellow charm (for women that have an early miscarriage). I like the Lance Armstrong type bracelets but I want to give something a little more special. 
This isn't the best picture but the bracelet is to the left and my charms are up above. 
I got this trinket box to put the lock of Levi's hair in with his hospital bracelet & I'd love to find something similar to include but without the Jesus loves me- I want to share my faith with other people but I just am not sure that right after they've lost a child is the best way. For me I clung to my faith during the beginning (and while I've been angry at God I still believe in Him and believe that Levi's death is part of His will for my life) but I think if I had lost Levi without my faith I don't think that would have been the time I would've been open to hearing about God. Please share your thoughts on this- I'm looking for a neutral book to include but really having a hard time. I found "Grieving the Child I never Knew", "In a Heartbeat: A Journey of Hope and Healing for Those Who Have Lost a Baby (Faith Parenting Guide.)", and "An Empty Cradle, a Full Heart: Reflections for Mothers and Fathers After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death" really helpful for myself but all of them include a lot of scripture. One of the books was very new-agey, one included sections and stories from people that elected to end their pregnancy (that just made me angry because I did not loose Levi by choice), another seemed helpful but I think it would be better a while after loss- not when it's so fresh, etc. Anyway, I'm waiting to hear back from the hospital director to find out if they're willing to give them to women (and hopefully they'll also be willing to contribute at least some funds). I think if we're able to buy things at cost we'll be able to do it from our monthly donation jar (at our shop we don't accept tips but donate the $ to a different charity each month) and we've got family & friends that I'm sure will help out so it's more finding the right items to put in more than anything. Please share anything that really meant a lot to you in the hospital or a book that helped. And thank you to Caitlin's mom for the inspiration!!!
Comments
And the bracelet's, I love that. I too wear one everyday in memory of my daughter. I received one from a friend with "daughter" as the charm and FELT that daughter wrapped about my heart just as the bracelet was wrapped around my wrist. I'm so excited for your project. ((((hugs)))
As far as your concerns about including religious material, I would suggest being neutral. I personally am not of any particular faith, and did not want to hear about religion after Liam's death.I was angry at the God I had believed in and did not find religion to be comforting. I have since reformulated my belief system through my struggles, but it was my personal journey to spiritual discovery.
The bracelet is a wonderful idea. Having some kind of tangible keepsake that is in some way connected to our angel babies is so very important, particularly a keepsake we can wear everyday.
Amy
I have to admit I did read several books on grief during the first few months after Liam died. The problem is my mind was full of grief's fog and I can not clearly remember my reaction to most of the books. I do know I bought a book called "Life touches life" by Lorraine Ash. It received positive reviews on Amazon and many mother's on MISS have said good things about it. I read this book, but don't remember how I felt afterward.
I do remember wanting to read of other's stories, of their pain and stuggles. I wanted to know that my pain had been felt by other people, that I was not alone. I wanted raw details, I wanted tears. Of course I also wanted a step by step survival guide to the intense grief that consumed me, but such a book does not exist. I did find some comfort in reading about other's that knew the pain of losing a child, knowing they had cried the same hot tears as me. That other's had walked this journey and survived.
Amy