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Does time heal?

They say time heals all wounds... I think there's some truth to that statement but I think I'd have to modifiy it a little. As long as you aren't letting small cuts get infected or picking at scabs then yes, time will heal small wounds. If you loose your arm it isn't like you'll grow another with time (unless of course you're a starfish) and I think the same is true with major emotional wounds.

Time doesn't completely heal- you just learn to adapt and deal with the pain. Things may get easier as time passes because you've learned ways to cope but time doesn't fix whatever has caused the pain in the first place. I was thinking about the physical and emotional scars in life as I was doing crunches the other day. I had never understood how weather affected scars and things (my husband broke his arm in high school and it aches depending on the weather) but I'm beginning to get it. I don't normally notice my scar from my c-section but when I've been active or the weather is extreme, the nerve endings go crazy. My body isn't at risk now of ripping open if I got pregnant again but the body knows that things are different now. Scar tissue has built up. Our emotional wounds are similar, we may not be at risk of falling apart, but things may trigger the nerve endings into going a bit spastic at times and the tissue is dense and thick.

I know that I haven't completely healed from Levi's death... and as I've stated, I don't think that complete healing will occur in this life but I feel now it's more like emotional scar tissue... I don't feel sensations the same and there are certain times that I feel the scar more than others and my nerves can't take the mixed signals they're getting... but I'm not at risk of ripping open anymore and falling apart.

Lately I've found myself smiling again... truly smiling... and a while ago I would've felt guilty smiling- as though it somehow meant I was moving on when I shouldn't have... recently though I really haven't had any feelings of guilt over my happy thoughts. One of my friends from my support group shared this verse with me and I think it sums up the lack of guilt well:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The God of All Comfort
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

I know God has been comforting us this month and the prayers of many around us have been lifted up on our behalf in addition to many people speaking words of comfort and we've definately felt it. I'm also glad that we're going to be able to reach out to others and comfort them as much as possible as well... everyone has been really supportive of the Levi's Hope project... and I'm learning to knit so I can make blankets for people too... but it's truly touched us. We're already at the stage financially to provide kits to the hospital for this year and well into the next... I think we'll see how things go and work out any kinks before branching out to nearby hospitals as well. Knowing that Levi's life has shown me this need that we can fill brings tears to my eyes- and a smile to my lips.

May the God of all comfort bring comfort to your hearts as well!

Comments

JD said…
Rebekah... This post touched me deeply. You have such a gift for words, such a beautiful way to express your heart, and the gift of wisdom too. I appreciate the way you are sharing your experience, I think it really honors God, and that Levi would be so proud of his mamma. You remind me a lot of Angie, your words are soft and powerful all at the same time.

I agree with everything that you've shared, you said it so perfectly, with great imagery of how we heal from these losses.


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