Fear and panic. I praise God that He's given me peace through most of this pregnancy- even through the complications. But I'm human. And fear still creeps in. Last Thursday was one of those days. I woke up and didn't notice M. moving like she has been most mornings. I tried not to panic and did kick counts. She was moving more than I realized (10 moves in 30 mins) but not as much as she normally does (normally she'll hit 10 in 10-20 mins). I pulled out the doppler and listened to the thumping of her heart. Despite doing this though I still couldn't shake the grip of fear. I tried praying. I took a two hour nap. I tried distracting myself with tv. I tried voicing my fears to Tommy (but also let him know how the kick counts had gone). But I couldn't focus on anything except each kick and movement. I finally put on my ipod and went into the garden... for whatever reason my activity gave her more energy (normally my movements will lull her to sleep) so that helped s...
This is all about my life after my son was stillborn January 14, 2008. Levi was 7 lbs 8 oz with big fat cheeks and 10 perfect toes and 10 perfect fingers but was born with no life in his tiny body. My life has changed, my faith has changed and my relationships with everyone around me have changed. This is my perspective of the changes and my reflections on them. Please feel free to share your thoughts too. -rebekah
