Life After Levi

I'm just getting out of church and wiping the tears away. My pastor has buried a son who was in the service. While his sermon wasn't at all focused on death or grief, I couldn't help but think about it anyway. My heart goes out this weekend to all the families who have buried a son or daughter fighting for our freedoms. I like to stay politically neutral but don't take for granted the sacrifices that others have made. Earlier this week I saw a post on facebook of a friend that's served in Iraq remembering two fallen soldiers. It's so easy to focus on the beach or bar-b-que on these Memorial day weekends rather than the sacrifices made. And I think there's a time and place for beaches & bar-b-ques... but we must not forget the lives that are now gone or the families and friends left behind. The sermon today was on spending time together and making the most of each moment. Gathering around the table, breaking bread together. Not just making small...

I'm behind on my blogging- way behind- but I'm not complaining- it's because I've been busy at the store- no real news to share and no time to read or write. I'll take it though, with the shape of this economy and with the Christmas season I'm very happy staying too busy to blog. For the most part I've done ok with the holidays but this past weekend was interesting. We went up to Plains, GA to hear Jimmy Carter teach Sunday School and I'd been looking forward to it up until Friday. My patience can be short at times, but it's been especially short since Levi died. My mother seems to think I need to have more patience and be more compassionate towards people but I wasn't in the mood to hear it on Friday and many tears followed. Anyway, I went from really looking forward to going to do this Sunday to dreading it. So Sunday we got up at 4:45 and drove up to Plains so I was both tired and emotionally drained to begin with before the class even began. ...

I have a love hate relationship with the garden. I went out there today when I went home at lunch to let our dog out and it's a little on the disheartening side right now. It was doing really well until Fay came and it really hasn't recovered from the insane amount of rain and wind. Most of what we have are perinneals though so I'm hoping that even though they look battered at the moment they'll recover and come back next year stronger than before. Time will tell. One of the reasons I like the garden is I feel more of a connection to God out there. My relationship with God hasn't been the best recently. Right after we lost Levi I clung to the belief that God has a purpose and that good will come from his death and the longer it's been the less I see any purpose for it. Who knows- maybe in 5 or 10 years I'll be able to look back and see more of the bigger picture but for now it's hard. Through it all I do have faith and believe Romans 8:28 "...

Today is Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday... the day Jesus celebrated Passover with the deciples in what we now refer to the Last Supper. Seven years ago I was baptized on Maundy Thursday (the date itself I can’t remember as Easter changes with the Jewish calendar) and so tonight I was reflecting back on my faith and growth as a Christian. For my friends that knew me growing up and even those that knew me in college you may have assumed that I’ve been a Christian for more than just the past seven years but that’s not the case. It wasn’t just a facade though, I truly was seeking God but it wasn’t until the summer I was 20 that I surrendered control of my life. I’d love to say that I’ve been the perfect Christian since then but like everyone I’ve fallen way short of the mark but each time I try to pick myself up and start again. As undeserving as I am God has blessed my life. Even though there’s been pain and sorrows this year God has still brought blessings and I feel I must praise ...

Today marks two months since we went to the doctor and found that there was no heartbeat. I was having a crappy weekend anyway and then it hit me what today's date is. Yesterday was really rough for reasons I won't mention and then came today. I woke up and tried to quietly get things done around the house while I let Tommy sleep a little longer. After he woke up we sat down to a bowl of cereal and flipped on the tv and after channel surfing came across the morning news. Following a commercial break a segment came on about the history of day light saving time and we panicked- we didn't have an hour and a half to get ready for church- we had half an hour. And so the day began. We actually made it on time with my hair sopping wet (but then that's normal since I only use a blow dryer once or twice a year) and realized that there were quite a few people that didn't get the memo on the time change. Everything was ok during the service until the children's messa...