A few months ago I had panic attacks whenever Tommy had to leave the store and I got more than two customers to deal with. Nothing extreme- just feelings of anxiety but no hyperventilating or anything. Friday though I had to run the store on my own because Tommy still has about a week to go to recover from his surgery and one of our employees had an emergency and had to leave after being there less than thirty minutes. It was one of the bustiest days in the past six months and I managed on my own- with no panic attacks. I also didn't feel like I was 'getting over' Levi's death as he came up in conversations with a few customers so I didn't end the day feeling as though I should have been thinking more about Levi and less about work. It's also given me a better appreciation of what Tommy did when he came back to work and let me grieve.
On a different note I've been reading a really good book called 'God on Mute: Engaging the Silence of Unanswered Prayer' by Pete Greig. I've been really angry at God for not answering our prayer to restore life in Levi's body but also knowing that we prayed for His will to be done. I still don't know the why's and maybe never will but the book has helped somewhat.
On a different note I've been reading a really good book called 'God on Mute: Engaging the Silence of Unanswered Prayer' by Pete Greig. I've been really angry at God for not answering our prayer to restore life in Levi's body but also knowing that we prayed for His will to be done. I still don't know the why's and maybe never will but the book has helped somewhat.
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