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Out of the mouths of babes

Last night we had some friends over for pizza & a movie. In between running around after our crazy dog one of the kids asked me if I'd had kids or was planning on it. I explained that we'd had a son who passed away, not sure how much detail to go into for a nine/ten year old. He then asked how old he was when he died and I told him it was just before he would've been born. That answer seemed to satisfy him and he continued on chasing his siblings around. Later on he came back with more questions asking the meaning of a stone in the garden (It reads: No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye; You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why). I mentioned that it was because we lost our son. He said "Yeah, I know, but what does it mean?"

I wish that adults wouldn't be so afraid to ask questions and talk about what's on their mind. It seems to me that it's so much easier when Levi is apart of conversations rather than people boxing up their questions thinking they'll be upsetting. I must confess I have some selfish reasons for wanting to do the pregnancy loss kits. I don't want Levi to be forgotten by those around us and I want something good to come out of his life that has an impact on more than just me. I want to remind people that just because we don't want to think about the death of babies doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Is it wrong of me to force people out of their comfort zone in this way?
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Anonymous said…
I don't think it's wrong to do something that will give you the opportunity to talk about Levi and to keep his memory alive. I think people like us feel a little lost because the world seems to continue and we are stuck (for me) in that room when some doctor told us our baby was dead. I think your kits are a way for you to move forward, help people, and get a little "unstuck..."
October 14, 2008 at 12:42 PM
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