Skip to main content

Forgiveness

Tommy and I went to a wedding last night that I found to be a step in the right direction. I'm not much of a social butterfly... More of the wallflower type. Don't get me wrong- I enjoy being social... But I always feel like I'm bumbling and out of place- and that was before Levi died. Afterwards social events became even more stressful and we generally found excuses not to attend.
Something kept nudging me to go to the wedding last night though and I'm glad we did. I knew many of the other guests at the reception so there were no odd 'tell me about yourself' intros and I stuck by my husband's side letting him do most of the talking. I allowed myself to just enjoy the evening which alone seemed major to me but then something more miraculous occured.
We were standing near the dance floor when my husband jerked me to the other side of him and told me not to look in the area I'd been in. My first thoughts were that there must be babies or pregnant ladies (which I've been handling much better lately- I even enjoyed a conversation with a group of moms and their small kids recently) so I glanced despite the warning. My former OB was standing there. (I love the way my husband tries to protect me :)) I didn't make eye contact with him but Tommy said the doctor saw us before his wife pulled him away.
The tears started welling up but I managed to hold them back and pull myself together. I even got to the point of engaging in more conversation and enjoying it again. That's not the most miraculous part though- when I saw him I didn't feel the bitterness and hatred (still extreme dislike and anger) but I feel like I'm moving in the right direction towards forgiveness. I was also glad we stayed where we were and he waved the white flag of retreat. I've been praying for a more forgiving heart but I still struggle with it so I was grateful for last night's opportunity to see the progress I think I'm making.

Comments

Inanna said…
Forgiveness is sooo much more for you than for the other person. I've learned that not forgiving, ultimately, is like taking poison and saying, "There! That will show them!" You're only hurting yourself. Of course, it's always easier said than done...
Cathy said…
Interesting story. Remind me to tell you of a similar story one day.
((((hugs))))

Popular posts from this blog

Thankfulness

It's been 6 years since hearing the silence we expected to be a heartbeat. As I think back today, I am filled with thankfulness. I'm thankful for... ... a God who has brought comfort when I mourned. ... His peace that surpasses all understanding. ... the joy that comes in the mourning. ... a faith that weathered the storms. ... a husband that provided and held it together when I couldn't. ... a husband who finds joy in being a daddy to our two blessings. ... our family and friends that mourned with us. ... our family and friends who now rejoice with us. ... the restoration of relationships. ... the two blessings that now call me mama. ... the ability to realize the important things in life aren't things. ... the joy a simple snuggle brings knowing that we aren't guaranteed anything in this life. ... being able to share Levi's story with others. ... healing. I am so grateful that God prepared us in so many ways before Levi's death and he's brought ...

Two worlds

I feel like I’ve got my feet in two worlds and I don’t always know how to handle it or balance it. I don’t always feel like I fit in with the mom group… I’m not a stay at home mom and yet I’m not working full time either. I don’t have the innocence that many of them have and can’t always relate to everything. Yet I feel like I don’t always feel like I fit in the loss community either. It’s not that I’ve forgotten or moved on now that I have a child but joy has come in the morning. I’ve recently met two women who lost their sons almost exactly three years after Levi died… it’s just so strange because at the same time I’m involved with forming a small group of moms through our church. Two worlds and I’m in both… but not really. Where do I fit? What is my role? I feel like I’m not the right person in either case. I don’t know how apparent it is to other people- especially those that know me from the coffee shop- but I’m timid with new people. Inviting people to join in has been a big step...

inevitable

I knew this day was inevitable... but still... to come just before Christmas was heart wrenching. In case I haven't mentioned it, Tommy is working at a funeral home now... the same funeral home we used for Levi. There have been times that dropping in to take him lunch is very much a reminder of Levi's death. Just last week for example I needed a place to nurse Madalyn and one of the funeral directors offered the blue room (called that because of the wall color but fitting for other obvious reasons too). Thank you but no- that would be the room we viewed Levi in- I'm not interested in staring at the last place I saw his face while Madalyn eats. There have been difficult funerals too; most of the people have died after long fulfilling lives but a few young people died unexpectedly. Yesterday though they got the first baby since Tommy started working there. Tommy had taken Madalyn out while I worked on his Christmas present and stopped by work to see about an unfinished p...

Levi Aaron

Levi Aaron