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Testing my trust

These two definitions seem so different but I've really been struggling with them lately.

1 achiefly British : cupel b (1): a critical examination, observation, or evaluation : trial ; specifically : the procedure of submitting a statement to such conditions or operations as will lead to its proof or disproof or to its acceptance or rejection (2): a basis for evaluation : criterion c: an ordeal or oath required as proof of conformity with a set of beliefs

1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b: one in which confidence is placed2 a: dependence on something future or contingent : hope b: reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit


I trust God and He is far above any evaluation I could ever give Him but still I worry sometimes that I'm testing. I know I can rely on Him, I know His character is good but it's hard sometimes when I'm in the midst of trials to not want proof that God is in control. We trust that God will provide even during this economy but still we are looking for secondary employment so is that truly trusting in Him? We trust that God's will is what we want for our lives but are we testing Him when I desire a baby so badly it hurts?

Today I'm praising God for His provisions for us. We opened our business before the economy bottomed out and the savings we had to get us through the first few years (until the business actually starts making money) saw a sharp decline with the stock market. Today we called to withdraw some money for some of our larger expenses and not only have the savings not gone down since we made our last withdrawal but they've risen!! My trust is not contingent upon these things and yet I am human and do find it easier to continue along the path I'm on when I see evidence that we'll make it. I feel so blessed that He has given me this proof yet I feel like I fall so short in my faith sometimes.

Luke 4:12
Jesus answered, "It says: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.' "


Jesus said these words when Satan was demanding miracles... He knew that God could preform them and trusted in God but did not ask for this proof.


Psalm 91:2I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

God is my refuge! Even though things have been bad I do trust Him and believe that He is good and He alone is worthy of my praise. When I actually looked up the definitions I know that I do not need proof that God exists and He loves me... I just struggle wondering what I'm supposed to do in His plan.

Comments

mesa said…
you have such a way with words and you are spreading encouragement with them. Thank you my friend ♥
Debbie said…
So, I tagged you and then scrolled down and see you've already been tagged for a similar meme! Oh well, lol.
Bree said…
Your posts are very uplifting. I wish I could write like you. I started a blanket for Levi. Its coming a long nicely. Can't wait for you to see it. :)

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