This weekend has been a long one and we haven't finished our adventures so most likely I'll post again about it but wanted to share everything so far.
One thing I've really walked away from this weekend feeling is that Levi may be gone, but he certainly isn't forgotten. This was reinforced with each visit we made with friends and family. With our business being a small 'mom & pop' type operation it's hard (yet important) to take a break. We close after Christmas & closed up for Easter and decided to close up for most of the week of the 4th. The town we live in is small and it seems that most people are away on family vacations around the 4th anyways so... we try to make the most of the times when we know business will be slow anyway to get away and see our family too. Anyways- I say all that so you'll better understand why we drove all over the state in a matter of days. We left Bainbridge & headed down to my grandma in Clearwater, then my grandma in Gainesville followed by my friend in Jacksonville and later today we're heading to Montgomery to meet up with a new friend from this Blogland.
Visits to family since Levi died have been harder for me... I don't know exactly how to explain it- I'm sure many of you who have been there already understand... but it's sometimes harder seeing people infrequently than it is those you see on a daily basis even if the relationship to those infrequent visits is more important. I think part of the reason it's been harder for me is I want to show my family & friends I'm ok but at the same time I want to share my thoughts & feelings about Levi... yet I don't want to make them uncomfortable or dwell on him as the only topic of conversation- make sense??? Each time I've seen family has gotten easier though. This time around I felt my son was remembered and included...
My grandmas are both story tellers. In Clearwater you can always expect to hear the story about how my grandma and grandpa met, the story of their life in NY and what brought them back to FL, stories of my grandma's days as a soda jerk in her father's shop... I could go on, she rotates some in and out but you can count on hearing those tales of long ago. I love hearing the stories. I've tried getting her to elaborate on some of the stories but I can't get her to seem to... it hit me though- she shares the things that are most important. One of the stories she shares is about her parent's choice of cemeteries. My great grandmother lost a baby when she was eight months pregnant. I don't know if my grandma remembers the pregnancy or if she was too little but she still remembers that baby that died 80+ years ago. Her parents chose a cemetery for their child and then got plots for themselves. Their families were buried further away but they wanted their baby close and wanted to be buried nearby. I don't know any more details. I don't even know if the baby was a boy or girl or what it's name was... but still, I know that this baby is remembered still... even 80+ years later.
We left Clearwater and drove up to Gainesville to see my other grandma. She has a hard time telling stories now and most of the time there was spent talking to my aunt. We talked some about Levi but she also talked to me about a family she knows who lost their child years ago. Even though they aren't family, she still remembers their child... and the sisters that were born after her death still see her as part of the family, even though they never met.
The weekend continued with a friend's birthday and once again I felt reassured that while Levi is gone, he isn't forgotten. We stayed up late talking and catching up, some of the conversations were deeper, others were laughing at the mind numbing things on tv. I enjoyed the balance.
I'm glad we took some time to get away and see everyone(though I do feel slightly bad for my husband who just wanted time to relax who, when all is said and done, will have been drug over 1,000 miles). I wish we could have stayed longer and visited more with each person and there are many more things I could share about the trip... and it isn't even over yet!!!
One thing I've really walked away from this weekend feeling is that Levi may be gone, but he certainly isn't forgotten. This was reinforced with each visit we made with friends and family. With our business being a small 'mom & pop' type operation it's hard (yet important) to take a break. We close after Christmas & closed up for Easter and decided to close up for most of the week of the 4th. The town we live in is small and it seems that most people are away on family vacations around the 4th anyways so... we try to make the most of the times when we know business will be slow anyway to get away and see our family too. Anyways- I say all that so you'll better understand why we drove all over the state in a matter of days. We left Bainbridge & headed down to my grandma in Clearwater, then my grandma in Gainesville followed by my friend in Jacksonville and later today we're heading to Montgomery to meet up with a new friend from this Blogland.
Visits to family since Levi died have been harder for me... I don't know exactly how to explain it- I'm sure many of you who have been there already understand... but it's sometimes harder seeing people infrequently than it is those you see on a daily basis even if the relationship to those infrequent visits is more important. I think part of the reason it's been harder for me is I want to show my family & friends I'm ok but at the same time I want to share my thoughts & feelings about Levi... yet I don't want to make them uncomfortable or dwell on him as the only topic of conversation- make sense??? Each time I've seen family has gotten easier though. This time around I felt my son was remembered and included...
My grandmas are both story tellers. In Clearwater you can always expect to hear the story about how my grandma and grandpa met, the story of their life in NY and what brought them back to FL, stories of my grandma's days as a soda jerk in her father's shop... I could go on, she rotates some in and out but you can count on hearing those tales of long ago. I love hearing the stories. I've tried getting her to elaborate on some of the stories but I can't get her to seem to... it hit me though- she shares the things that are most important. One of the stories she shares is about her parent's choice of cemeteries. My great grandmother lost a baby when she was eight months pregnant. I don't know if my grandma remembers the pregnancy or if she was too little but she still remembers that baby that died 80+ years ago. Her parents chose a cemetery for their child and then got plots for themselves. Their families were buried further away but they wanted their baby close and wanted to be buried nearby. I don't know any more details. I don't even know if the baby was a boy or girl or what it's name was... but still, I know that this baby is remembered still... even 80+ years later.
We left Clearwater and drove up to Gainesville to see my other grandma. She has a hard time telling stories now and most of the time there was spent talking to my aunt. We talked some about Levi but she also talked to me about a family she knows who lost their child years ago. Even though they aren't family, she still remembers their child... and the sisters that were born after her death still see her as part of the family, even though they never met.
The weekend continued with a friend's birthday and once again I felt reassured that while Levi is gone, he isn't forgotten. We stayed up late talking and catching up, some of the conversations were deeper, others were laughing at the mind numbing things on tv. I enjoyed the balance.
I'm glad we took some time to get away and see everyone(though I do feel slightly bad for my husband who just wanted time to relax who, when all is said and done, will have been drug over 1,000 miles). I wish we could have stayed longer and visited more with each person and there are many more things I could share about the trip... and it isn't even over yet!!!
Comments
Short & sweet, only not short on miles. Most of my family lives in Palm Harbor which is very close to Clearwater. That's the beach we always go to. Small world. Glad you were able to talk about Levi.
xx Ines