One word

I went to a women's mini conference in our town this weekend. The focus this time was on prayer. I posted this a little while back as a response to a community post on The Blog Frog but wanted to tie it into my thoughts from this weekend too.

Thank you for your honesty, I've had difficulty focusing on prayer too. It's hard to continue praying when the prayers for healing aren't answered. That being said I still feel prayer is important. I know when I've spent time in prayer my entire frame of mind is different and I do feel that my relationship with God is stronger. Even if God's will is different from my desires I know His ways are higher than my own and I try to pray out of obedience.

If I'm being honest with myself, one thing I've noticed about my own prayer life though is I'm not as confident anymore that my prayers will be answered. Just like M said, prayer helps foster that relationship but just as parents have the best in mind for their children, when a child doesn't get their way they might throw a tantrum or pout. I tend to often feel like the pouty child. Rationally I know that's wrong, I know that God hears our prayers and I know that He alone is good but it's still difficult to actually return to the prayer life I once had.

In my head I know the power of prayer... I know the purpose of prayer... but I still have a hard time actually doing it now. I will say that my prayer life has come a long way from what it was a year ago, but it still isn't what I know it should be.

I don't disagree with any of the things that were said about prayer... but I also can't help but view prayer differently. I know all too well the inability to express myself in ways other than groans- or sobs.

Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.