Skip to main content

Doctor, Doctor, give me the news...

I went to the doctor today and got to hear that beautiful sound again. No pictures this time though but that's ok, I don't want to get too spoiled or anything :). (I learned I'll only be getting pictures from now on with the high risk Dr. & my next appointment with him isn't until mid Dec) The visit was short but he had gotten word back on the bloodwork. Everything came back normal. So... still no real answers about Levi's death and no answers as to why I'm itchy now (but the itchiness has gone down in severity some too so that's good). As far as the reasons though... the high risk doctor is ordering more tests later in the pregnancy (by his request- these aren't even tests I knew to demand- lol) and the regular OB is sending me to the dermatologist- which is good because I tried to make an appointment on my own and they aren't taking new patients but today guess what- I'm in. I guess they figure if another doctor thinks it's bad enough then I'm not just running there because I got a massive zit or something.

Sadly enough I could see some people doing that- me- I prefer to go to the doctor when it's necessary but (when not pregnant) once a year is about often enough for me to see a doctor of any type. I can't believe I'm about to admit this in writing but I haven't seen my general practitioner in about 5 years or so. We moved so much after marriage, so I went to a walk in clinic when I needed to for physicals or if I got sick and they never gave me the same doctor twice. Then we moved here after I was already pregnant and I went to the OB so much I figured I didn't need a GP... then after Levi died I didn't trust any doctor enough to go to them... sigh... I do like my current OB though a lot & I have heard some good things about different family doctors here... guess I'll have to start trusting them again at some point right?

It's kinda funny- I say I have a hard time trusting doctors, but my father in law is/was (he just retired) a well respected doctor in Tallahassee. What's even funnier is along the bottom of my chart is written in large letters "Dr. ____'s daughter in law". A few years ago that would have bothered me. I don't like to receive special treatment for who I am or what my last name is (maiden or married) but there are times I welcome it gladly. I will say though one of the reasons I chose this doctor was not just the recommendation from my MIL but also the recommendations from the support group. I think he truly treats all his patients well- particularly if they have had a loss- he's been very compassionate with others beside myself... BUT... if my FIL's status in the medical community will get extra attention in this pregnancy I'll take it.

It amazes me though... I drove an hour + each way to see the doctor today and I think I was seen by him a total of maybe 15 minutes. Though really time doesn't matter too much. Hearing the beautiful beating of the heart made the time in the car more than worth it. But it does seem a little funny to me- the amount of time in the waiting never equals the amount of time in the visits. I know I've mentioned this before but time is such a strange thing. It's hard to believe that I'm now done with the first trimester! Over 1/3 of this pregnancy is over. I feel like I've tried to enjoy each moment with this baby in case it's the only time I have and the days are still passing quickly. And yet, I want them to pass quickly- I want to fast forward to April when the baby is here. I'll still have things to worry about then, but I won't have to worry if my body will somehow turn on me- or rather turn on my baby.

Comments

Stacey said…
I'm very glad to know that your results were normal, but sorry that it leaves you with no answers. Praying that you'll be able to enjoy your pregnancy until it's time to hold that sweet baby in your arms! Can't wait to rejoice with you.
Debbie said…
Oh my! 1/3 of the way there!

Hang in there, Rebekah. Suck up the extra attention the doctor might give you because you are Dr. ____'s daughter in law!

I cannot wait until you have your rainbow in your arms. <3 Have you talked about an earlier delivery or anything?

xxxx

Popular posts from this blog

Thankfulness

It's been 6 years since hearing the silence we expected to be a heartbeat. As I think back today, I am filled with thankfulness. I'm thankful for... ... a God who has brought comfort when I mourned. ... His peace that surpasses all understanding. ... the joy that comes in the mourning. ... a faith that weathered the storms. ... a husband that provided and held it together when I couldn't. ... a husband who finds joy in being a daddy to our two blessings. ... our family and friends that mourned with us. ... our family and friends who now rejoice with us. ... the restoration of relationships. ... the two blessings that now call me mama. ... the ability to realize the important things in life aren't things. ... the joy a simple snuggle brings knowing that we aren't guaranteed anything in this life. ... being able to share Levi's story with others. ... healing. I am so grateful that God prepared us in so many ways before Levi's death and he's brought ...

Two worlds

I feel like I’ve got my feet in two worlds and I don’t always know how to handle it or balance it. I don’t always feel like I fit in with the mom group… I’m not a stay at home mom and yet I’m not working full time either. I don’t have the innocence that many of them have and can’t always relate to everything. Yet I feel like I don’t always feel like I fit in the loss community either. It’s not that I’ve forgotten or moved on now that I have a child but joy has come in the morning. I’ve recently met two women who lost their sons almost exactly three years after Levi died… it’s just so strange because at the same time I’m involved with forming a small group of moms through our church. Two worlds and I’m in both… but not really. Where do I fit? What is my role? I feel like I’m not the right person in either case. I don’t know how apparent it is to other people- especially those that know me from the coffee shop- but I’m timid with new people. Inviting people to join in has been a big step...

inevitable

I knew this day was inevitable... but still... to come just before Christmas was heart wrenching. In case I haven't mentioned it, Tommy is working at a funeral home now... the same funeral home we used for Levi. There have been times that dropping in to take him lunch is very much a reminder of Levi's death. Just last week for example I needed a place to nurse Madalyn and one of the funeral directors offered the blue room (called that because of the wall color but fitting for other obvious reasons too). Thank you but no- that would be the room we viewed Levi in- I'm not interested in staring at the last place I saw his face while Madalyn eats. There have been difficult funerals too; most of the people have died after long fulfilling lives but a few young people died unexpectedly. Yesterday though they got the first baby since Tommy started working there. Tommy had taken Madalyn out while I worked on his Christmas present and stopped by work to see about an unfinished p...

Levi Aaron

Levi Aaron